Adventure + Vulnerability Are Close Friends

(A rare moment of clear skies and melanin-producing sun as I lunched in the Plaça de la Concòrdia.)

In my imagination, this blog is like a Southern front porch: wide, painted wooden rails, customary porch swing, visiting chairs arranged and facing outward, sweet tea in a cold glass pitcher sitting on a little side table (spicy pickles are available, too, si te apetecen). And everyone--you all and me--are gathered around chatting up about food, travel, and other daily happenings. In my view, this is one of the best ways to pass an afternoon with friends who've dropped by for a visit.

A couple weeks ago, I asked you all to tell me what you would most like to hear about on the blog. A few friends asked that I document new foods and restaurant experiences. Some requested that I include photos of gorgeous sights each place I go. And, I'd say, so far that's what we've shared together on this virtual front porch.

(This week's Best Bite: A sweet Vermouth and saffron flan in all their luminous, delectable, gastronomical glory!)

But, there was another request as well: please share the reality of being an expat/digital nomad. And so, on the eve of a much-needed Andalusian vacation, I would like to do just that. (Yes, next week's post will cover Cádiz and nearby areas within Andaulcía!)

Thanks to platforms like Instagram, we can peek into the lives of hundreds (thousands?) of travel influencers. Which is super cool. And inspirational. But, the reels, posts, and highlights don't tell the full story. That's not to say they're lying. It's just that there's A LOT that can go on in the background that's less shareable: boring visa paperwork, special tax preparations, getting sick from new germs, etc.

This past week, I swam in the deep end of Spain's immigration process + infamous bureaucracy (dizzying and frustrating as promised). The sun came out in full summer force for only one day (God bless!); drizzling rain and unseasonably low temperatures persisted. As the cherry on top, I caught an annoying cold. In a future post, I'll share the specifics of the Spanish digital nomad visa, but that's not for today. Today, I'd like to highlight one aspect of the emotional experience of being a single digital nomad.

Solo travel can be exhilarating. For me, it has also been a catalyst for meeting some of the most kind, delightful, beautiful people. I'm free to eat, rest, play according to my own whims. Plus, there's almost always room--even at the busiest restaurants--for a party of one.

Case in point, I enjoyed the classic Vermouth lunch experience today at a "fully booked", popular int'l fusion tapas restaurant here in Les Corts (located on one of my favorite streets: Carrer del Vallespir), Mundana.

At the same time independent exploration is energizing, it stirs up the most difficult challenges. When visa requirements pile high and threaten to topple over--on you and your tenderly nurtured hopes--it's only you strategizing, translating, planning, re-planning, etc. The same goes when that ominous scratch in the back of your throat makes you curse the guy that sneezed on you in the metro last week--time to find a pharmacy before a fever spikes and you're too fatigued to run errands for yourself! (Pro-Tip: Spain requires folks to wear a mask inside of their pharmacies. However, if you wander into a Farmacia maskless and barely recovered from needing the help of two passersby to operate the sliding glass doors to get into said Farmacia, a pharmacist will guide you back outside and take your medicine order from a window like a bank teller).

Everyone has her own weak points, and my own humanness reveals itself most starkly when diligently laid plans (A, B, C, all the way to Z!) are upturned by something avoidable. Something that I might even have made efforts to prevent. Something that I asked about ahead of time--twice. Something that I…can't…control. It's lonely-making to be overwhelmed and reminded--in a tangible manner--how vulnerable and on my own, I really am.

I know these feelings can (and do!) occur within partnered people and those traveling with friends and those embarking on a new chapter with their families in tow. Of course. But, I'm sharing from my individual perspective. And this week--this week was tough. But that doesn't meant it wasn't also very good.

(First Column: Ali, Elena, and I enjoyed an enchanting jazz/pop live performance on the rooftop of Gaudí's Casa Batlló on Sunday night. 'Twas a gloomy evening, but the outside of the house stuns even still.)

(Second Column: That morning, we stopped off at Parc de Cervantes to smell the abundant roses in full bloom. Honestly, this has been our best Sunday together during my stay this time around.)

At the height of these emotions, I remembered what my dear friend, Gosia, told me in January when I was kinda-sorta-definitely melting down over ALL OF THE THINGS before making this life change: "Let your friends help you. We're all rooting for you, and we want to be a part of your dreams coming true." And, thankfully, I did.

I let Ali and Elena know that I was stressed about the update I'd received from the immigration lawyer and was finally (as we all brushed our teeth preparing for bed) ready to talk about it; I took another friend up on his offer to listen as I vented; I phoned a longtime, sister-like friend in SoCal and confided that I felt so far from being some cool globetrotter who was unphased by sudden changes; and, I denied the temptation to write on the blog that this week was comprised entirely of scrumptious foods, beautiful sights, and clever bookstore finds. It was. But, it was the harder, less shareable stuff, too.

(Left: I'm missing Poirot BBC Movie Nights with my friends, Ana + Anthony, in San Diego, CA. Time to spruce up my Spanish literacy and solve some 20th century murder mysteries! 10/10 Recommend La Conxita LLibres i Discos. Also located on my favorite street! Right: I stopped in at two bookstores today, and the first one's shelf labels amused me. Love perusing book and record stores in every city I visit.)

A friend messaged me a good word this week: "Vulnerability is where the magic happens." And, he's so right. Fun developments are in the works--Can't wait to share what's next!

Xo, Nikki